Daughters- John Mayer

Teach

Mothers should... teach their daughters the things they only want to learn from their mommies.  Things like; what kind of face make-up won't make your skin break out, how often to get their hair trimmed, how to tell a boy who likes you that you don't feel the same way, what colors compliment you the best, what kind of shampoo will make your hair the smoothest, and even how to get to sleep, when your brain doesn't want to let you dream. All the things listed are pretty small, but they pile up. Soon you feel like there's so much you don't know that everybody else does and you're out of the loop and you start to question everything because everything you know because you taught yourself. Therefore there has to be room for error because you know you're flawed. A real mother would teach her daughter to respect herself and others, but herself over all others. A daughter should know, from her momma, how to say "NO" with confidence and how to keep her head up while walking away.

Who would you be without everything your mom taught you?



What does that make me?

Keep in Contact

Mothers should... keep in contact with their babies. There was a time when I didn't see my mom for nine years. I'm sure there was contact, though. A card or box of crap every few birthdays was enough for me to know that she was out there. Maybe a phone call every couple years if I was lucky. I've seen her a total of three times since my dad and I left the island in '99. We've probably talked 100 hours on the phone over 13 years. Honestly, I forget what she looks like until I see an old picture or one on Facebook. That's just wrong. She should know what's going on with me, what my teacher's names are, what book I'm reading, or just what school I go to, at the very least. I would give anything for her to want to know that I have her hands and her ears, to know that I walk like her (says my dad) and that I have her same long legs . An, "I love you" text or post on my wall doesn't count. That doesn't reassure me in any way, or make me believe her at all. I wish she kept in contact, maybe then we would know her as people. Now, it's too late. So much has happened that it would take forever to catch her up, if she ever showed a desire to learn, which she hasn't.

Introduction

This blog thing is new to me. I'm not sure how I should introduce the reasons for starting mine or my situation or anything like that, so I just jumping right in to facts seems appropriate. I'm writing this blog as a school assignment, but it could have been on anything I was interested in, passionate or curious about. My English teacher is great like that, giving us free reign to discover ourselves, pulling in the potentially reckless just before we approach a state of being out of hand, like a mother should. No, Mrs. Elliott isn't our mom, but she is considered a role model by some of her students. Anyway, I chose to write about what a mother should be like, should not be like, should do and should not do. My mom lives on an island a little over 2,500 away from me. Maybe you've heard of it, it's called Hawaii. It's a pretty popular place, so you probably have.

This blog is about what I, personally, think mothers should and shouldn't do. I'm doing this so that I will never forget what not to do when I become a mother, in the far far future. I'm not a bitter person, but it's tough not to sound that way when I write about such a personally painful topic that affects me every day. Every time I see a mom driving her kids to school, shopping with her daughter, or mother and child holding hands it hurts me inside a little. Not because i'm spiteful, but in a sad and jealous kind of way. A way in which I would never wish differently for the little girl, hand in hand with her mommy, but I would give anything in the world to be her. Anything I could ever give won't allow me that, though. All I can do is be better for my kids and that's my intention.        

I'm going to start at the logical place, the beginning. My mommy and daddy met in Honolulu, but were both living in Kona, on the big island, at the time. I'm not too sure about all the details except that they started dating when they both got back. A few or maybe a couple years of dating produced yours truly. No ring, no wedding, no dream house, just a baby girl. I guess ANOTHER baby girl for momma. She already had a daughter from a previous relationship. Her name is Symmone and she was seven when she got her first baby sister. Two years, a separation, sole custody, and two plane tickets to the mainland brought me to where I am now, California. In my dad's old stomping grounds, actually.

          The point is: I'm growing up without my mommy and there's nothing I can do about it.